KIDS FIGHTING: WHAT TO DO IN THE MOMENT- when you know who started the fight.
Attend to the "victim" of fight
Attend to the child who was pushed/hit. Tell her to say, "I AM NOT FOR HITTING!"
To the initiator of fight, say, "You really wanted the cell phone so you used your fist to hit the top of her head".
Assume positive intent
"You didn't know what words to use without being hurtful."
State the limit
"You may not hit."
Tell the child what he CAN do
When you want the cell phone, you can ask for it, wait for it for 5 minutes, or play with something else.
If the child chooses a solution from Step 6, you can say, "Wow, you did it". If the child doesn't choose, you DON'T keep talking. You calmly remove the child and calmly say, "We will try again tomorrow".